honolulu_oahu_mod 5 year.agoA man is in court, when the judge asks, "On the 3rd of August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty." said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted, "You dirty rat!"The judge asked the man to sit down and to refrain from making any noise. The judge continued, "And that also on the 17th of September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead?" "Guilty." said the man in the dock. Again, the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat!" At this point the judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied, "He is my next door neighbor." The judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from anymore comments." The man replied "No, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer and both times he said he didn't have one!"
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No problem says the doctor take off your underpants and lie down. He puts a glove on and lubes his fingers and slides two inside her ‘How does that feel’ he says ‘Lovely’ replies the woman ‘but the discharge is coming out my ears’
A deep thot.
…in his defense, he was sent there to get a Black and Decker.
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
"Waddup, Quacker!"
“Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
With crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.
God said “You’re right. Give the dumb one a cunt.”
Throw a frying pan in an Ethiopians face.
I got a couple: What was the last thing to go through Diana's mind? The stereo. Why did princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. What do princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The wall was their last big hit.
Abusing of your wife is just so stupid. It's YOUR wife. That's like keying your own car.
If they are under 12 just do them in your head
Polly want a Cracker
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Too soon?
Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?
For reference this is a joke from a friend, but what would you call a baby being thrown or yeeted. My friend said it’s still fetus deletus???
Duterte only talks about raping women.
It doesn't have a home page.
FANNUM IS A FATASS
It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming!
She rejects you.
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An LGBBQ.
Christopher Walken
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Tom Cruise can’t take a joke
You know she's going to swallow
Wipe your dick clean on the curtains.
The Drake Equation
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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